Decision Fatigue

I really thought that I would enjoy planning my wedding.  I'm very organized and I like the details of an event and, even better yet, I'm planning a dope party for my awesome friends and family to celebrate the love that Billy and I share.  What could be better?

While some parts have been fun so far -- finding thee most incredible wedding dress with my mom and Molly (and Morgan via messaging), eating the cake, designing the save the date -- it's mostly been pretty overwhelming.

First, I think there is so much pressure  -- you're only going to have this one wedding ever (well, that's the idea, right?), so you better make it a really good one.  I know that it's my wedding and I want it to reflect us, as a couple, but I want everyone to be comfortable and happy.  Wanting to please everyone or most everyone is something that is a concern for me.

I think another part of the problem is the internet.  It's filled with blogs and websites of real weddings.  What's out happening in the wedding world is very apparent.  And I'm pinning away what I see.  I want to have a cute wedding that's DIY, vintage, etc., but the options are overwhelming.  What kind of menu do I want? Will these decorations be trendy/cute enough? What song will play when I'm walking down the aisle?  The decisions to be made are endless.

I am suffering from decision fatigue.  I didn't know decision fatigue was an actual thing until I read this post from A Practical Wedding (another blog).  It was written about recently in the New York Times which called wedding planning, "a ritual that seems to be the decision-fatigue equivalent of Hell Week."

The APW blogger explains my feelings exactly.

And then it hit me. When I woke up this morning—the best time to make decisions, according to the article—I thought about this whole to-do, these months of "this or that," "for a small upgrade you can get this," and "well if we invite him then we have to invite her." And I realized that the hardest decision of all—or I should say, the most significant one—has already been made. I picked him, and low and behold! He picked me. The rest, if you ask me, decision fatigue and all, is small potatoes. Fried or mashed—don't ask me—they both sound great.

And so I sat down with our long list of menu choices and asked, do I want people to leave this wedding saying, "Wow. That food was incredible and inventive and original!"?

Or do I want them to leave saying, "Wow. Those two people sure do love each other."

And it turns out that decision wasn't so hard after all.

Our wedding is 8 months and four days away and there are a lot more decisions to be made. I'm going to use this information as we continue to plan our wedding.  I still really do want to have an adorable wedding with good food, pretty tablescapes and nice lighting, but all that really matters to me, truthfully, is that at the end of it Billy and I are married and our friends and family were there to celebrate with us.

Posted by Darcy September 15, 2011 3:32 pm